


The Spread

by jewboykahl



Category: South Park
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Getting Together, M/M, One Shot, Short & Sweet, Useless Gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29925261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jewboykahl/pseuds/jewboykahl
Summary: Clyde is confused about how sexuality works, but he does know two things: Tweek Tweak is adorable and he makes his hands sweat.
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	The Spread

Something is  _ happening _ to Clyde. 

Lately he feels weird around his friend. He doesn’t know why, but whenever they brush shoulders or their hands touch or they even meet glances, his palms line with sweat and his heart palpitates. Sometimes his belly feels queasy and can't even focus. 

It’s  _ really _ freaking him out. 

Clyde decides it’s time to talk it out with someone, and his general philosophy in life is  _ When in doubt, ask Craig what to do;  _ despite being grumpy and lazy, his best friend always has the answers. 

The pair sit opposite one another on the couch after entering the Donovan residence after school. Clyde had summoned him in hopes to pick his brain about the whole endeavor. 

“What’s the big emergency?” Craig asks, reclining on the sofa as he pops open a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. 

Clyde reaches over and snatches a handful of chips from the bag, earning warning glare from his friend due to the obnoxious crinkling sound it creates. He needs a stalling tactic so he can think of how to pose his dilemma eloquently. 

After finishing his first few chips, he sighs and eyes the other boy. “I think your gay is spreading to me.” 

Craig regrets plopping a chip into his mouth just as he hears the news. A noise that is somewhere between a wheeze and choking emits from him as he covers his mouth, attempting to regain composure. Clyde scrunches his eyebrows together, “What, dude?! I’m being for real!” 

“Stop,” Craig croaks, revealing his amusement. He releases another series of strangled laughs before slapping a hand over his chest, leaning his head back and letting out a long sigh of relief. He pauses before rolling his head over to Clyde with pursed lips. “No, I can’t yet,” 

Clyde grows vaguely irritated when his friend bursts out laughing again. He frowns, “It’s kinda fucked up you’re making fun of me for turning gay, bro. I didn’t treat you any different when I found out about you!” 

“For fuck sake, Clyde, you can’t  _ turn _ gay,” Craig snorts, shaking his head, “what is making you say this anyway?” 

“Swear you won’t tell anyone?” Clyde asks. 

“Yes, I definitely don’t want to repeat this conversation to anyone.” 

Clyde looks down and worries at his bottom lip. He scratches the back of his neck, “I think I… like someone.” 

“A dude?” Craig guesses. Clyde nods. “Who?” 

“Don’t tell anyone!” 

“I literally already said I won’t.” 

“But you  _ know _ him.” 

“How does that change anything? Just tell me.” 

“Fine, it’s… It’s Tweek.” 

Craig hums, “That makes sense.” 

“What do you mean?!” Clyde demands, a surge of panic flowing through him. 

It’s a pretty bad time for Craig to insert a few chips into his mouth, but he does so anyway, leaving Clyde hanging for an agonizing few moments. He shrugs, “I don’t know, you guys just seem really friendly lately.” 

“Do you think he knows?!” Clyde wonders, brown eyes widening. 

Craig shakes his head, “He is more likely to think you’re plotting to kill him than to think you have a crush on him. You should just tell him.” 

His heart stalls at the mere suggestion. “You really think I should? What if he says he doesn’t feel the same?” 

“Then you move on to the next blonde,” Craig shrugs, “you guys will still be friends. It’ll suck for a while, but it will pass.” 

Craig is right—about what he should do, and definitely about his apparent taste for blondes. 

_ 

There it was again—the palm sweat, heart pound, and sick stomach combination he always felt around Tweek. 

It’s really not his fault; Tweek is  _ adorable _ . He’s got fluffy, curly blond hair, big, amber eyes, tiny freckles scattered across his cute, little nose, and he dressed in an accidentally stylish manner that highlights how effortlessly perfect he is. Clyde also finds him incredibly interesting, all the things he believes in and fears and enjoys. He’s such a unique person and so admirable. Which is why this feels like the biggest feat of all time. 

Clyde has put off this conversation for a year. Everytime he tries, he panics and starts talking about random shit like  _ homework _ or  _ the weather _ instead. This time, however, Craig has threatened to tell Tweek of Clyde’s feelings himself if he does not spill the beans. He can’t decide if it is to help his friend or because he is tired of hearing about it. Maybe a combination. 

“Hey, Clyde!” Tweek greets him as he approaches the counter at his family’s coffee shop where he works, pulling him from his thoughts. He lifts an eyebrow after scrutinizing his terrified expression. “are you okay?!” 

“Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m cool. How are you?” 

“I’m fine…” Tweek repeats, maintaining his suspicions. 

“Sweet! Uh, do you have a second, I, like, wanna talk to you.” Clyde curses his unstable voice. 

Tweek bites a lip, “Uh, I’ll ask my dad if I can take a break?” 

Clyde nods, “Perfect! Thanks—for your time! In advance,” 

“Okay,” Tweek chuckles before bustling off to the backroom to find his father. 

Clyde balls his fists and raises them to his forehead, groaning at him. “Get it together, Donovan. He’s just a  _ person… _ ” 

That notion didn’t do much to comfort him, though, seeing as he is the  _ cutest _ person he knows. 

This is going to be a disaster. 

His heart jumps when the door Tweek slipped through moments earlier creaks open again, revealing the blond without an apron. He grants Clyde a smile, “I have 15 minutes. Do you wanna go outside?” 

“Sure! It’s not freeze-your-balls-off cold yet,” Clyde proclaims, pleased with another chuckle falling from Tweek’s lips. He loves the sound of it. 

Tweek holds the door ajar for Clyde to slip through, and they veer off to the side, taking a seat on the bench beside Tweek Bros. The weather feels  _ almost _ perfect despite a chilly freeze tickling the exposed skin on their necks and faces. 

Tweek smiles at him, “So, what’s going on?” 

_ Oh god _ . The moment of truth arrives. Fear of rejection and vulnerability battle for dominance to keep Clyde silent as he stares wide-eyed at Tweek, who grows increasingly concerned.

“Clyde, what’s wrong?! Is it serious? Are you dying?” Tweek gasps loudly, darting his eyes around as he leans in toward Clyde to whisper, “are you being followed?! I think I am too—“ 

“No, it’s not that, I’m fine! It’s just… it’s kind of hard to talk about…” Clyde soothes him, vaguely amused by Tweek’s paranoia. He lets Craig's threat of being the sharer of the news motivate him to finally suck in a deep breath and reveal the rehearsed secret: “I just really, really like you and I was wondering if you would ever like to go out on a date sometime… with me.” 

Tweek’s face takes on a more subdued expression of surprise. He came out as bisexual to his friends a while ago, so he knows that is not what is tripping him up. He opens his mouth and closes a few times before settling on a fast-spoken reply, “You  _ like _ me? Are you being serious, this isn’t some kind of prank?” 

“God no! I’d never do that to you, dude! I for real like you. I-I have for a while, it’s just… I didn’t wanna freak you out and lose you as my friend.” Clyde admit, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks away, worried he is doing just that. 

His insides turn to mush when he feels a hand against his thigh. He flicks his gazes up to fall upon Tweek’s enticing, light brown one as he grins sweetly at Clyde. “I would really love that, Clyde. I like you a lot, too.” 

“Really?!” Clyde asks, perking right up. 

Tweek nods in confirmation, “Of course! I was always worried  _ you’d _ get freaked out and wouldn’t want to be friends anymore…”

“Well, I don’t,” Clyde replies simply, causing Tweek’s expression to fall. He grins despite this, “I want you to be my boyfriend instead!” 

“Oh,” Tweek giggles, watching Clyde reach out to clutch his hand. His freckled cheeks are rosy, and Clyde’s sure his are in a similar state. “we’ll see how that date goes. Where are you taking me?” 

Clyde smirks, shrugs, “Doesn’t matter, as long as I get you to say yes.” 

The sudden opening of the cafe’s glass push door and sound of jingling bells causes Tweek to jump with fear, and both of the boys to peer over at Richard Tweak sticking his nose out of the establishment to bellow, “Son, I need you back early, get in here!” 

“Oh god,” Tweek sighs beneath his breath and hops to his feet. He shoots Clyde an apologetic frown before saying, “I’ll text you.” 

“Sounds good, cutie. Have a good rest of your shift!” Clyde says, his desire to gush about Tweek overcoming his long-lost confidence. He screams internally at the cute smile at the ground Tweek does as his cheeks darken further. He waves to Clyde before popping back into the shop. 

Clyde wastes no time texting him as he starts the walk home. 

_

_ “There he is, my tiny boyfriend! He’s extra tiny today, yeah, my little baby—tiny boyfriend,”  _

“Stop singing that about me! I’m only, like, two inches shorter than you.” Tweek grumbles amusedly as Clyde shuffles into his home, removing his sneakers. 

Clyde shrugs, grinning, “Doesn’t matter! You’re smaller, which gives me the right to call you tiny, little, and pick you up whenever I want.” 

Tweek crinkles his nose as his boyfriend wraps him up in a hug and pulls him close. “I never agreed to this.” 

They share a sweet, chaste kiss before heading up to Tweek’s bedroom, which is littered with clothes, empty coffee cups, and Lego structures (and loose Legos). They plop down on his bed in unison and recline against the pillows before Clyde curls up to him and lays his head across his chest. After a year of dating, they have fallen into a comfortable, happy routine of watching movies together on their mutual Thursday nights off from football and work. These nights mostly consist of Clyde distracting Tweek with kisses and clinging to him like a massive koala.

“So, Craig told me something interesting today.” Tweek begins as Clyde surfs through Netflix for something to watch. He hums, signaling for him to continue. “He says you told him you had a crush on me when we were 14.” 

Clyde does not like where this is headed. He forces himself upright and grants Tweek a sheepish smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Tweek nods, “also that you accused him of  _ spreading his gay _ to you?” 

Clyde huffs, “I told him that in confidence! I didn’t know how sexuality works, I’m sheltered!” 

Tweek chuckles and reaches a hand out to cup his cheek. “It’s okay, Clyde, it’s cute and funny!” 

He pouts a lip, “Craig’s such an ass. I just liked you and didn’t know what to do.” 

“I was the same way! Except I was already openly gay, and you were still the first to make a move!” Tweek comforts him, circling his skin with the soft pad of his thumb. 

Clyde lets a smile stretch his lips as he leans into the tender touches, “And I’m very glad I did it.” 

“Me too,” Tweek hums in agreement before leaning down to kiss his lips. Clyde keeps him there with a gentle hand on the back of his head as they proceed to ignore their movies for the rest of the night. 


End file.
